But he didn’t took drugs. It was his disease which let him fly high !

It’s not easy to understand – a psychological disease is not the same as having fever.

„The acceptance for mental diseases in between the Tamil community is not given nowadays.“

I don’t wanna say it is easier for people from other cultures to handle this kind of illness, but in our society the social pressure is much higher. A person which is affected by any kind of mental issue has to fight with a lot of things. I always wondered how it would have turned out when I wouldn’t be a Tamil, which was born in Germany. Obviously in Sri-Lanka I wouldn’t have received this medical treatment. Furthermore my family would have probably suffered more from gossip in between the Tamil people.

The consequences for my family

It was quite hard to explain my parents what it means to be BIPOLAR. For myself it means: I am either very HAPPY or very SAD. The greatest blessing, which is given by the universe to the humankind is, the gift to feel. But can you imagine everytime when you feel something, that you ask yourself if your EMOTIONS ARE REAL ?

Am I the charismatic, funny, energized and funny guy ? Or the shy, tired and the anti-social guy ? For them I am the normal one when I take regularly the pills. The only reason, which was keeping myself motivated and let me see the bright side of life, was and is my AMMA (= mother). She suffered more than I think. Maybe it would have been different when she would not have heard from the Tamil neighbours that her son is a f*** drug addicted psycho.

How i’m living now with my mental disease

Now a few years later I can’t even be happier. The strong bond between me and my family increased because of my disease. I know every time when I come back for a few days home, that

„IT WAS WORTH to suffer – maybe it’s a blessing.“

This proudness in my dad’s eyes that I kept on fighting and made the best out of my disorder. The boys who didn’t know what was going on with me back then, were talking shit about me. Now they are understanding what was going through my head. That’s why they respect and support me again.

Living with a mental disorder isn’t easy and the Tamil Community treats the concerned persons like that they made a mistake, or the parents didn’t educate their children well enough.

„Let’s take a step forward and increase the acceptance of mental disorders by talking about it.“

Related article: Depressions and suicide – when a dark shadow covers your soul

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