Scrolling through the articles but need some short impulses? Then my short inspirational texts from January 2019 could be right for you. Sharing my thoughts on different topics like selfconfidence, perfectionism etc.! Wanna share one of these posts? I wrote them mainly for instagram, but some of them are on facebook too. Have fun and feel inspired!

Be a good tamil woman (09/01/19)

|| Be a good tamil woman || Every tamil girl/ boy knows the struggle between making their parents happy and do what they wanna do. Even if not our own parents are strict to us, life at the latest then gets complicated, when we meet other adults from our society. Sentences like „What will your future husband think when he sees this? Do you think your future family in law will accept this? Why you dont do xyz? Be a good girl at least now and make your parents happy.“

Today i saw a video from someone who defines what a „good tamil woman“ is. He describes that the main job of a good woman is to bring a man down when he comes back home after a long day. He has plenty to do at work, so how hard would life be when he has to make his wife happy too? When he sees her, all his problems should be forgotten. – An old-fashioned view would someone like me say.

The sweet, calm, …

… fair skinned, slim, talented, invisible tamil girl – gives up her career as soon as she gets the glory of motherhood and says yes to everything and everyone around her. She didn’t hear the word „need“ yet. A „no“ doesn’t exist in her vocabulary – a dream of a lot of tamil mothers, parents (in law), men and a nightmare of aunties („What to talk about now?“). – An old-fashioned view too or is it the current perspective of a „good“ tamil women?

Who defines what is „good“ and „bad“? Is it not up to us what we accept and what not? It’s time to forget the fear of being-not-liked for someone we are not. Marry, get children, a house, a car, a career whenever you want. Life is about you and not the neighbour auntie.

Know your worth (14/01/19)

This year im turning 30. An age where lot of women from my culture are already married and have children – i’m not. (What a shame!)

There is nothing wrong about marrying young and having children early – thats everybodys personal choice. Whats disturbing me is that every women/ men HAS TO be married at a certain age or there has to be something wrong with them. Are they serious? The expectitions from society, especially #tamilsociety can push people into the wrong marriage.

And the result is:

women and men lowering their standards, marrying someone they wouldn’t have choosen if they got more time. Im always thinking what if the matching person comes along at the end of our 20’s, after 30, 40, 50? Why society thinks its meant to be that we meet the „right one“ before 25?

People around us making finding-a-partner to a race: who has the smartest, most goodlooking, funniest one before 25-30 and made them commit a lifetime? Who can think „done“ on his personal-tamil-bucketlist? Isn’t marrying and having kids more than a „done“ and a „race“?

You are more worth than a „done“ on someones bucketlist. Give yourself time to find and settle with someone who is worth your standards, character and everything you have to offer. YOU DESERVE IT!

The attitude towards ourselves (16/01/19)

Mum said „Don’t get a tattoo or no one will marry you.“ I said: „Then i prefer having a tattoo and being unmarried. “ 😆 #everymumsnightmare. Now she jokes around and wanna feed my „elephant“ 🐘😂 (i think i have my sarcasm from her).

Living in the fear what someone else could think/ like/ dislike/ hate/ love won’t make you happy! Do what you love and want and the right wants will go with it or leave your side. I never wanted to be liked for someone i’m not. That may have offend some people. But you know what? – It doesn’t interest me.

The elephant on my back has a special meaning for me. The maori signs in it represent my strength i developed over the years. Life wasn’t, isn’t and won’t be always easy. The only thing that will carry us through storms is our attitude towards ourselves.

Casteism (25/01/19)

A very sensitive topic in the tamil society is the caste system. While everyone of the generation, which grew up in a western culture, pretends to give a sh**t about this system, it separates families, friendships and lovers at latest when it comes to life changing decisions.

Few days ago i asked the people on this plattform if they have ideas what taboo topics could be out there we need to talk more about. The caste system was the most asked issue. Today my friend texted me because she saw a disturbing Video from a man, who was beaten to death from his brothers in law because he was from a different caste. What the f***? Living in the 21st century let us believe that such racist systems can’t exist. But if it provokes such a violence and hate, is it right that we didn’t learn anything from the World history?

Raised up in a home where nobody talked about caste and i found myself out with 19 what stupid system that is, i was shocked hearing that. Im not a „pro“ in Casteism but for me it is the same as #racism. We as the younger generation should take responsibilty and shouldn‘ t use the childhood of our parents as an excuse to continue this #savage tradition. When people suffer – even die because of it – then it is time to make a change!

Don’t dim your light (31/01/19)

Everyone of us has a special light – People who feel like a sunshine on a rainy day or people who bring the rain and the storm into your life. What i Noticed especially when it’s about tamil woman is, that most people of the society expects us to dim our lights. „Don’t shine too bright or no one will marry/ accept/ like/ respect/ think good about you“ Put up in a cage, we lose your identity and sacrifice our lives for everyone else but not ourselves.

A huge reason is our education at home. Coming from a conservative family, it’s more difficult to find ourselves than having the oppurinity to make our own choices. The result: lost ideas, potential and knowledge – because we accepted to decide someone else what we can reach instead of taking responsibility for our actions.

Don’t let anyone dim your light – you will limit your own potential.